30 December 2011

Unsentimental Elements An Original by Sam LeFleur


I wish the wind would stop
And the current to still.
I need a footing and I can’t place my feet
I can only weather so long
Before there is nothing but silt
Maybe a piece of me will break away
And sit on the shore
Safe from the winds and currents
That keep my happiness at bay
On that shore of pebbles
My footing strong
I just might hear, the words to my song.

19 December 2011

Snap. Crackle. Pop. An Original by Sam LeFleur

Snap.
Crackle.
Pop.

Snap.
Kicks and punches land
Bones splinter and break

Crackle.
Gas spills and the odor burns the air
Match sparks and skin and hair sizzles

Pop.
Mouth opens and air escapes
Final gasp, broken sound, life slips away

Snap.
Crackle.
Pop.

18 December 2011

Love It or Leave It


Last call rings, you’ve had two beers and are ready to go home, and fall into bed and have sweet dreams of anything and everything, so you get in your car, turn on the key, defrost your windows and head on home.  Uneventful, starless night takes you 5 minutes from home, the last stop light between you, a pair of sweat pants, and your bed.  The light turns green, and you crawl into the intersection only to be startled by a flash of lights, almost from heaven itself.

A few minutes, an hour, who knows how much time passes but you finally come to, still in your car, but somehow hanging from the driver side, looking down, only held in by the seat belt.  You look down the ground is sprinkled with a confetti of glass.  You can feel something happening, you just aren’t sure what, and know that it isn’t good.

The only thing you are able to get to is your phone, and even that is a stretch but you manage to grasp it in your numb fingertips and pull up the contacts.  If this was the last phone call you could ever make, who would it be to?  Considering the next five minutes of your life are your last, dial that phone to say goodbye…
I have a short list of people who I am sure would care when I passed.  My final phone call, if I am granted that luxury would certainly be to my mother.  She has always been the light of my life, and while not always supportive of who I am, has always loved the core of WHO I am.  Not everyone has that one person they could call.  I am thankful for having that one person. 

I know this post is sappy and disgustingly sentimental, but I have been trying to whittle out people in my life that I don’t value with complete devotion.  I have got to thinking about every single person that has touched my life somehow, and the truth is, if I wouldn’t think to call you to say goodbye, I am most likely not going to bother calling to say hello either.   There are people out there who I value as best friends, and who will always be there for me.  A couple people from high school, maybe a few from college and work, but lets face it, life is about quality, not quantity.  

Even though my facebook might beg to differ, I am not a friend glutton and will be making these changes to my life very soon.  I will no longer be prancing around, dancing on my tippy toes so as not to annoy, or push away someone.  I am my own person, love it, or leave it.  My life won’t go on forever, so I will live it how I please.  Thank you for boring yourself with my ramblings; this is something I’ve had to get off my chest for some time now.  May the reconstruction commence.

05 December 2011

Thinking....Is Simply Not Enough....

There are a lot of us that live extraordinarily comfortable lives.  Some of us get no such luxury.  In our world we live with excess and security most of the time, especially if we have the best circumstances.  I have been lucky.  I grew up in a financially secure environment in predominantly white neighborhoods with little to no violence.  Not everyone is so lucky, especially if they are different.

Truthfully I have had a good life.  Lately I have been reading about a string of homophobic attacks that have maimed and scarred people.  Like the attacks on the men that resulted in them being set on fire for being gay right here in the United States.  I have also seen a video of a nameless man in an unknown African country, beat in the street and set on fire.  Events like this upset me, even make me cry.  It breaks my heart to see what another human being is capable of doing to another human being under the guise of morality and motivated by hate.  I just can’t help but think about it.  At times it keeps me up at night to see what the world is coming to. 
But thinking is not enough.  If you are reading this it is probably because you are one of my close friends, a follower of my twitter or Facebook pages, and know me personally.  Now take a moment to picture me being set on fire.  Picture me being repeatedly kicked and punched.  Listen as you hear my ribs break, my gasping for air, unable to even cry out for help.  Now picture doing nothing to stop it.  Stand there and watch as my body is being shattered.  Do you feel anything?  Truth is every victim of hate crimes has at least one friend or family member out there.   What do you think they feel when they visit him or her in the hospital after being beat within an inch of their lives? 

Sometimes I wish I could be beat within an inch of my life so I can truly feel what its like to feel pain.  All too often I think about how horrible my life is, how meaningless it is in the grand scheme of things, how badly it sucks.  I forget that it could be a whole lot worse.  Maybe being lynched would snap me out of my lethargy of self-loathing and give me something to believe and fight for. 

I think too much about these people and what they have gone through, but as I already said, thinking just isn’t enough.  It’s time to fight.

04 December 2011

Untitled, An Original by Sam LeFleur

Sad desire from atop a weathered spire
wishes and dreams unfilled
the only company is a lonely echo
love and hope is killed
upon the spire top
only fear prevails
because anyone else
even in a world of rainbows and love
could crush it in a moment
and choke the beauty
even from a dove
above the pain and desperation